The hardest thing you ever have to learn is how to emotionally detach from someone. If they no longer serve a purpose in your life, you need to let go.
When you care deeply about someone, the last thing you can imagine is to lose them completely. After all, why would you need to learn how to emotionally detach from someone when you assume they’d be in your life forever?
Unfortunately, life has different plans. Things don’t always work out the way you imagined in your head, and this applies to both relationships and friendships.
You know, when you care about someone, you never thought the day would come where you’d have to know how to emotionally detach from someone. However, if you don’t practically force yourself to learn it, you’d break yourself trying to love them and hold on to them.
As much as we love them, we need to let go and accept that they’re not meant to be in our lives. [Read: Right reasons to break up with someone you love]
How to emotionally detach yourself from someone you love
Learning how to emotionally detach yourself from someone is hard, but it’s an important life skill. It takes a lot of trial and error, especially if you were in an intimate relationship with them.
However, day by day, you’ll find yourself becoming stronger and capable of detaching from them. You’ll realize that you’re no longer missing them or searching for a piece of them each day.
Sometimes, all it takes is the right amount of courage and wisdom to learn how to emotionally detach yourself from someone. Will things get easier? No, of course not.
However, it will get better eventually and you’ll realize you made the right decision. Just because you want to emotionally detach from them doesn’t mean you don’t care about them or want them to disappear from your life. [Read: 15 signs they’ve detached from you already and it’s time for you to do the same]
You’re simply creating a much-needed boundary for your own mental health. Maybe they’re not treating you right or they’re detrimental to your mental health.
Whatever it is, you know that your relationship has to end before it ends you. In this feature, we’ll be listing down everything you need to know on how to emotionally detach yourself from someone.
1. Think about you
Co-dependent relationships aren’t common for a reason. It’s so easy to lean towards the tendency to prioritize them instead of yourself.
However, if they aren’t treating you with the respect or behavior you deserve, then what’s the point? We’re not talking about surface-level needs like flowers and chocolates every month. We’re talking more about things like respect, love, communication, and compromise.
Maybe you love this person, but you’ve noticed your mental being decline slowly and if that’s the case, well, it’s time to pay attention to that. No matter how much you love them, you should always put yourself first.
Otherwise, if you lose yourself, then that’s a much crappier feeling that you wouldn’t want to experience. [Read: How to find yourself when you feel like you’ve lost your way]
2. Take all the space you need
Space isn’t a bad thing, you know? It doesn’t mean you love someone less just because you require space.
If someone’s being toxic to your mental health, asking for space is a must in learning how to emotionally detach from someone. Asking for space can help you give all the energy you need in feeling like yourself again.
You can do whatever you want that makes you feel like yourself again. Everyone is different when it comes to emotionally detaching ourselves. Some need a short amount of time to do it while others need more time. [Read: 10 scenarios where taking a break is the only solution]
3. Think about your relationship objectively
Ask yourself, would you be happy if your daughter/son was in this relationship? Are you getting your basic needs and desires met?
Being objective is the best way to learn how to emotionally detach from someone. We know the world says to follow your heart, but you need to use your mind, too.
If they’re taking you for granted or aren’t giving you what you need, why do you need to stay? Facing reality might feel like a slap in your face.
It hurts so much that you can’t go back to being ignorant of the truth. However, it’s necessary in being emotionally detached and taking the right action steps. [Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted by the ones you love]
4. Ask yourself why you’re attached to them
You need to ask yourself what about them makes you feel so attached.
Are they your best friend? Maybe you feel like they’re the first person to actually pay attention to you? Do they give you something others don’t? If this is an intimate relationship, what is it about them that makes it hard for you to move on?
You need to ask yourself all these necessary questions. In learning how to emotionally detach from someone, remember that love is completely different from attachment.
You can be attached to someone without ever loving them in the first place. This is why you need to find out what factors make you so attached to them. [Read: Love vs Attachment and the vital difference between these two]
5. Cut off contact
Obviously, you can’t know how to emotionally detach from someone if you keep talking to them consistently. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have their number stored somewhere just in case.
However, you need to accept the fact that you won’t be able to detach yourself unless you cut contact. Stop calling them, texting them, FaceTiming them, or even communicating with them on social media.
Just stop everything that it is you’re doing. Seriously, what will you gain from maintaining regular contact with them? You’ll never be able to emotionally detach if this is the case. [Read: How to spot selfish people and stop them from hurting you]
6. Stay away from mutual friends
If you had mutual friends, then stay away from them at all costs. It’s not doing you any good when you hear how they’re doing or how they’re happier than they ever were.
It’s not good for your mental health. Yes, it’s hard to distance yourself from people who haven’t done anything wrong.
However, this is only for a short period until you’re not feeling the need to ask about this person you’re trying to detach from. As long as you feel the urge to ask your mutual friends how they’re doing, you’re not yet okay.
Learning how to emotionally detach is having full control of your emotions. If you think you’d still call them up whenever you miss them, then it’s too risky. [Read: How to stop texting someone when that’s all you want to do]
We’re always so scared to grieve, but it’s the one thing we need to do. Just because things didn’t work out the way you expected them to, doesn’t mean you have to pretend like everything’s fine.
Yes, the world will keep turning but that doesn’t excuse you from grieving the loss of a relationship. If not, you’ll most likely accept them back into your life and the cycle will continue.
You can’t learn how to emotionally detach from someone without letting yourself grieve and feel all your emotions first. [Read: How to conquer the impossible and unlove someone]
8. Remove memories around you
You’ll never learn how to emotionally detach from someone if you’re surrounded by memories that remind you of them. Whether it’s pictures or maybe an old sweater they left behind, you need to let those go.
This isn’t to say you should burn those memories to the ground and be bitter and resentful of their existence like an angry ex. Rather, just put them somewhere out of sight so you don’t have to deal with their memories or painful emotions you’d rather not confront.
Maybe you have an attic or under the bed. Just hide those memories temporarily until you eventually learn to control your feelings.
9. Accept you’re not going to be friends
You know those romcoms you’ve watched where exes can totally be friends without any awkwardness? Yeah, that’s not gonna happen in real life. Unfortunately, the reality is, if you become friends with them, it’ll happen all over again.
You might even end up going back to them or worse, giving them the benefits of a relationship minus the commitment. Now, wouldn’t that be a dream come true for them?
It’s best to refrain from being friends with them, just for the sake of your mental health. Sure, you can be neutral and friendly if you run into each other, but you’re not going to go to the movies or grab coffee together. [Read: 14 things you must remember when you bump into someone you’re trying to forget]
10. Refocus yourself
The best revenge is to focus on your personal development. This means refocusing all your energy and time into something other than the pain of missing them.
Yes, heartbreak is terrible and you feel like it hurts all over your body. However, this is also your opportunity to find out who you are, outside of the relationship.
In other words, start on a new page and revamp yourself. Do things that you’ve always wanted to do and refocus your life because your life has revolved around them.
Happiness and success are the best revenge, so show them exactly what they lose by not treating you right. Be so focused on your own dreams and your own life that even one text from them no longer bothers you. [Read: How to focus on yourself – 27 ways to create your own sunshine]
11. Take all the time you need
They say time is the secret ingredient you need to heal from whatever pain and heartbreak you’re dealing with. If you want to learn how to emotionally detach from someone, time is the one aspect you need.
Don’t rush healing from the relationship or not missing them – that day will eventually come. As they say, you just have to trust the process and take it one day at a time.
Take this as an opportunity to think about yourself and what you want from your life. They’ve been taking all your time and now you need to get it back. [Read: Here is how you can move on from a relationship in a healthy way]
12. Talk it out
Before you get excited, no, we’re not referring to talking it out with them. Rather, talk it out with the people you trust most with your life. Tell them how you feel and how you’re coping.
Don’t be afraid to be as vulnerable as you can be with them. These are your people and there’s no reason to hold anything back.
You can also go to therapy as that’s an advisable option for getting everything out. Talking is therapy, talking is healing. So, whenever you need to get it out, just talk.
On the off chance you’re not into talking, you can also have another source like writing, painting, journaling, or basically anything to express your feelings.
[Read: Learn how to control your emotions and show restraint]
So, how do you emotionally detach from someone?
It’s not a walk in the park to emotionally detach from someone. The greater the love, the greater the pain.
However, not all people are meant to stay in your life forever. Some people just crossed our paths to teach us a lesson.
[Read: How to stop caring about someone who hurt you – 15 steps to heal completely]
It’s never going to be easy, but you are going to get stronger. If you feel you need to learn how to emotionally detach yourself from someone, follow these steps to help guide you.
The post How to Emotionally Detach From Someone & Stop Them From Hurting You is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
Title: How to Emotionally Detach From Someone & Stop Them From Hurting You
Sourced From: www.lovepanky.com/my-life/relationships/how-to-emotionally-detach
Published Date: Thu, 05 Aug 2021 07:18:00 +0000
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